arkangel: (Default)
I feel different. Perhaps a little more, 'advanced'. Overall, I would say that now, I don't care.
arkangel: (Default)
Ok, I suck at this constant blogging thing, as do I suck at job searching.
Fed up with all these fucking online Applications that ask me to fill in a questionnaire that takes bout half an hour, only to be told that it didn't pass the required mark.
What the fuck is wrong with me!!!
That is why I hate technology. Employers should go back to the old ways where they had to actually speak to a fucking person in order to get to know them - rather than have a machine somehow fucking sum up your life story.

I think life is just out to get me at the moment.
First off, I meet a girl, like the girl, then lose the girl before anything could develop, although I doubt she even liked me.
Second, My financial status is slowly declining. Third, Insomnia is kicking in again and I almost screamed my head off last night because all I wanted to do was relax and sleep in my own comfy fucking bed!
And last thing I'm gonna say is, WTF is with my head. I think I'm starting to fall for an ex of mine that I really really really liked when we were seeing each other.
We were friends, then bf/gf, then semi-friends, then not talking, one party later bf/gf, and there was a third pairing after that only to end drastically as usual.
The worst thing is she is every man's fucking dream - Beautiful, funny, talented, artistic, doesn't want a relationship, cute, more into sorta flings than commitment, sexy...
Yeah you heard me right. Every guy would fucking want that except me!!!!!
We met up the other night n walked for a while as she wanted outta the road from her family. It was nice to speak to her again as it had been so long.
At one point I think my heart could have melted. As we were sitting down and chatting, she mentioned she was cold, to which I put my arm around her and she laid her head on my chest, "I've missed this"
At that point The voice started shouting, what the fuck are you waiting for, the apocalypse?!?!
Kiss her ya dick!
I rested my head on hers and think - if I wasn't a robot - almost shed a tear. All i wanted to do was say, How much I felt for her and how the only place I wanted to be was there and then.
I wanted to kiss her so fucking much, and then my fucking conscience, decided to appear and stand against the motion. Think of the consequences!!!!
Where the fuck where you when I really fucking needed you!?!
Anyhoo long story short nothing happened.

Next point, Mental/Psychological Health concerns in My family. All that is being said.
Acting classes at college have turned into sorta Group Therapy Sessions - Helps us connect with emotions on a greater scale. My lecturer was actually proud of me for being so honest as she knew I was not one to fully open up.
I ain't a shy guy, but I mostly believe my problems are my own business, no one else's.

Next on the list......
Nope think that's it.
Ah well. till next time.

Oh, quick closing note.
Misfits!!!! Fucking love the new series.
Next week? Possible gay romp for Simon and Nathan... Holy shit.
Considering both weeks my mother has been in the room watching the ep's with me. I may have to get her out the room.

And on that note

arkangel: (Default)
Yet again been another while since I last posted an entry,
Well better get cracking...

Last week or so has been eventful, currently playing the part of 'Super-Fuel', The eco-friendly hero battling against the evil Paula Lucien... It's a educational panto devised in college, which goes on tour to 4 different schools tomorrow, so I be currently shitting it lol
Lets just say green tights and red cape don't suit me.

The head is sorting itself out slowly, still occasional stints of paranoia I'm getting there...
Seem to be getting, rather impatient with some of my friends, nothing to serious, just one or two main ones been pissing me off, but maybe it's just my mind going overboard.

On a lighter note, took part in the Glasgow Zombie Walk today, and absolutely loved it. Started off with me n Barry at mine, getting our wounds tended to lol. Both looked great, I tried to make a third wound on my chest, so I made a hole in my t-shirt, but mother dear decided she thought it would look better if the t-shirt was totally ripped, which left me rather image conscious lol
But fair play, it did look great.
Got there n it was an absolute ball, lil annoying attention-seeker was being a pain in the arse. There were loads of absolutely brilliant costumes, Even met a zombie Harley Quinn which was sweet lol.
Spoke to the two organizers who were amazing, n were loving the idea of me n barry becoming stewards next year for it - stewards get to dress like Zombie-Hunters :D
In addition to this, Barry and I were in an interview shot being zombies attacking the guy being interviewed.
Oh yeah, and I got interviewed personally..... Yup, that was a laugh, made a total twat of myself, oh and swore on camera :P

Zombie After Party was great, good films, good company, and fucking hilarious. Plus after 3 drinks I managed to pluck up the courage to ask for a girls number, and successfully got it.
Not sure how to go about it though, text her tonight after realizing we had left her on her own n I felt kinda shitty, but not too sure when I should contact her next.

Ah well, this may be my last post for a while, got a lot to get through during the week, 5 shows an after party.

Anyhoo, farewell from the world of tomorrow...

arkangel: (Default)
Ok, yet again been quite some time since I posted something on this.
All I can say is that, the song I'm listening to, makes total sense now...

So far my body continues to give up on itself, just don't wanna get checked out by a doc though.
It's like, I don't wanna go in case it's fucking major, then again I don't want to go down and be told it's nothing, leaving me feeling like a right tosser.
My throat has added to the equation, but I rule that down to the cut down on cigarettes - standing on 2/3 a day now.

My lovely mother continues to accuse me of taking drugs on a regular basis, which I'm not, that's the one thing I never want to do, and plan never to do. My life may be boring and complicated, but not so much that I want to fucking waste it n fuck it up!

My mind is also jumping into the equation which makes things much more fun...
It seems that my memory is worse than ever now, I actually walked all the way up to the nearest bank and when I went to get my wallet, realized I left it in the house.
"C'mon, we all do that.. Nothing weird there.."
Wrong! If anyone knows me, I have a system. As in a system for where everything goes. I'm not going to tell because then it would make things easier for a mugger. :P
But lets just say that there is no way that I'd usually ever forget it.

Was rather disappointed this morning. After the past few days of vigorous work-outs, I was astonished to see the muscles of my legs actually fully showing, as in my legs were toned.
and I actually mean toned. Woke up this morning... WTF!?! Back to normal. :(

Ok last thing before I go, fucking hell I've went on for a good bit...

Currently I have the joys of still being single, and yet it seems that every person that I meet and soon start to like - It actually doesn't happen too often - Has some sorta baggage that fucking puts a hold on anything happening. Not saying I'm perfect by the way. There was one I mentioned in a previous post, finally got over the fact nothing would ever come from it, and I am introduced into someone completely amazing! Funny, Talented, Good-looking and we get on brilliant, plus there's barely any chance of the previous 'problem' happening with this one.
Yup, you guessed it, still major problems... So far I have kinda fucked up on a chance to actually bond with her to a completely different level. And here it is... The big one...
The main reason I don't think it will work out is........ I'm close with a very close person in her life.... Her brother.
Yeah, I hear the "Oooo Burn"'s in the background, this os one of those situations were I have no way to make things easier.... Unless I killed the brother..... Hmm............
Anyhoo. Moving on.

Like I said last point, for that non-existent number of readers, you may notice I'm beginning to understand the use of sarcasm. But does not mean I'm gonna use the fucking thing!
Anyway, time to bid you farewell.
Until Next Time...

arkangel: (Default)
Ok been quite some time since my last entry, decided I'd give this a go again due to the sudden increase in boredom lately.

College is going really well, just need to mainly focus on knowing the lines back to front due to the level of improv that may be required for the performance. I have the joys of having to don a Superhero costume, which for my character consists of a Red Tee, Cape, Yellow shorts and, wait for it... *Drum Roll*.... Green Tights.......
I fear that I may scar some children for life - It's a panto-esk performance in 4 different Primary schools - and I'm also probz gonna look like either a big twat or weirdo. xD

On a Semi-lighter note, I decided to quit the Youth Theatre thing I have been doing for the past 2/3 years. Kinda upset me at first but I've got over it. Only thing that really annoys me is there are two really attractive girls at it - One I know from a previous year, and one whom I haven't really had a chance to talk to :( . So odds are that nothing will happen there...
However, I agreed to help out as stage crew for their performance and I'll probz end up going to the after party, so I might as well not get my hopes up but What the hell.

Working life is a pain in the ass, can not be absolutely arsed with my current job - if you could even call it that. I have the joys of catering for the disgruntled Football fans to some of Scotland's Infamous Teams. And with that honor, I get to travel all the way up to Hampden Football Stadium - bout a 30 min bus ride - and then probably walk it back - due to the crowds n cramped buses.

Enough bout my boring life, even though that's what these things are for, I'm out...

arkangel: (Default)
Figured the first one wasn't much of a journal entry as it was a little insight to my love of acting. So I'm just gonna do a lil journal entry now.

Umm Life... Fairly good. Love life.... Could be doing alot better right now lol.
Old news, found my new hobby last night, Laser Tag! Absolutely love it. I got in with a few old school buddies and first thing i noticed under the UV light of the preparation Zone was the amount of oose... Tiny little pits of clothing residue - like dust - on my t-shirt. At first I was thinking, "All black will make me fucking invisible!!". Wrong. When we got in there first thing that astounded me was the size, I didn't expect it to be as big as it was. Me n two of my mates - Eric and Dylan - walked into one of the first rooms n were startled and confused by a voice doing a countdown to the beginning of the game. Since this was an 'Every man for himself' match, we all just stared at each other till the game sounded. Then it was like a bad montage to the Matrix, with us running like headless chickens and shooting each other. I'd love to go into more detail but I like to leave the rest of the story for speculation. Although I came Last :( .
Keep trying to get back into the world of love/dating, but alas, I be too paranoid and un-trusting. Basically I bottle it when I even attempt to approach someone. However I did receive a smile from one or two girls today when our eyes met, but as you can tell, nothing came of it.
Ah well, enough from me and back to this essay for college.
arkangel: (Default)
I'll try n keep up with using this as a journal, but this first post contains a monologue a
I wrote, and well, here it is...

I Say…

What do I say? I look at every one of you standing in front of me right now and I see potential… I see the potential to do something, absolutely magnificent. And that is how I see this city. Now I have watched this city grow and flourish. And I have watched this city fall into the deepest, darkest pits, in which we stand today. And I say no. I say this ends now. I say we march on towards them tonight. Every single one of us. And I say we show them just what the people of this city is capable of. I say that we go there tonight, fully knowing the consequences of the situation… That when we all go in, most of us won’t be coming out. And even in that moment of sadness, when we think that we are defeated. I say we look to the ground, on which our feet rest upon. And we will know what those losses were for. The city that we are proud to call home. And to be safe in the knowledge that it will feel no more pain… I say that is worth dying for… So who’s with me?


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December 2010



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