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[personal profile] arkangel
Ok, I suck at this constant blogging thing, as do I suck at job searching.
Fed up with all these fucking online Applications that ask me to fill in a questionnaire that takes bout half an hour, only to be told that it didn't pass the required mark.
What the fuck is wrong with me!!!
That is why I hate technology. Employers should go back to the old ways where they had to actually speak to a fucking person in order to get to know them - rather than have a machine somehow fucking sum up your life story.

I think life is just out to get me at the moment.
First off, I meet a girl, like the girl, then lose the girl before anything could develop, although I doubt she even liked me.
Second, My financial status is slowly declining. Third, Insomnia is kicking in again and I almost screamed my head off last night because all I wanted to do was relax and sleep in my own comfy fucking bed!
And last thing I'm gonna say is, WTF is with my head. I think I'm starting to fall for an ex of mine that I really really really liked when we were seeing each other.
We were friends, then bf/gf, then semi-friends, then not talking, one party later bf/gf, and there was a third pairing after that only to end drastically as usual.
The worst thing is she is every man's fucking dream - Beautiful, funny, talented, artistic, doesn't want a relationship, cute, more into sorta flings than commitment, sexy...
Yeah you heard me right. Every guy would fucking want that except me!!!!!
We met up the other night n walked for a while as she wanted outta the road from her family. It was nice to speak to her again as it had been so long.
At one point I think my heart could have melted. As we were sitting down and chatting, she mentioned she was cold, to which I put my arm around her and she laid her head on my chest, "I've missed this"
At that point The voice started shouting, what the fuck are you waiting for, the apocalypse?!?!
Kiss her ya dick!
I rested my head on hers and think - if I wasn't a robot - almost shed a tear. All i wanted to do was say, How much I felt for her and how the only place I wanted to be was there and then.
I wanted to kiss her so fucking much, and then my fucking conscience, decided to appear and stand against the motion. Think of the consequences!!!!
Where the fuck where you when I really fucking needed you!?!
Anyhoo long story short nothing happened.

Next point, Mental/Psychological Health concerns in My family. All that is being said.
Acting classes at college have turned into sorta Group Therapy Sessions - Helps us connect with emotions on a greater scale. My lecturer was actually proud of me for being so honest as she knew I was not one to fully open up.
I ain't a shy guy, but I mostly believe my problems are my own business, no one else's.

Next on the list......
Nope think that's it.
Ah well. till next time.

Oh, quick closing note.
Misfits!!!! Fucking love the new series.
Next week? Possible gay romp for Simon and Nathan... Holy shit.
Considering both weeks my mother has been in the room watching the ep's with me. I may have to get her out the room.

And on that note
Laters...

A.A.

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Ark-Angel

December 2010

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